


Beloved

by Sabishiioni



Category: The Hobbit (2012) RPF
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, No Smut, Self Harm, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-12
Updated: 2013-04-12
Packaged: 2017-12-08 06:40:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/758250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sabishiioni/pseuds/Sabishiioni
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean breaks up with Aidan and suddenly finds himself regretting it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Beloved

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.  
> Warnings: Read them  
> Follow Me:[Tumblr](http://sabishiioni.tumblr.com/)  
> Mindless Babble: I blame ThornyHedge for this. I have never written an RPF before.  
> Title comes from the one song from VnV Nation that I cannot listen to- it does bad things to my head.

“Get! Out!”

“But…Dean…”

“OUT!” The blond glared at the dark-haired man. “I had one rule, Turner! One! You broke it so now get out!” 

Aidan scrambled off the bed and grabbed his clothes. Tears were barely held in check as he struggled to at least pull on his jeans. He grabbed the rest of his clothes in a bundle and started out. He paused at the door. 

“Please don’t quit…I don’t think Peter could survive having to find another Fili…”

Dean sighed from where he lay on the mussed up bed. “I’ll stay.”

“Thank you.”

“Not doing it for you,” Dean growled.

“I know.” There was a choked sob as the young actor fled his lover’s… no, his former lover’s trailer.

***  
“So how long has this been goin’ on?” Graham asked, coming to stand next to Richard.

“Hmm?” Confusion on Thorin’s face was just…wrong.

“Those two.” He first motioned to Dean, who was chatting with Adam and some of the crew. Then he motioned to the figure standing alone in the shadows, slowly drinking one of the ever present sports drinks.

Richard blinked, a bit shocked to see that the shadow was actually Aidan. He looked between the two actors, completely confounded. “I have no idea. I thought they were attached at the hip.”

“It’s been ‘bout two weeks,” James said from behind the pair. “Word is they had the mother o’ all fights. Aidan was seen fleeing Dean’s trailer in naught but a pair o’ jeans.”

“One of the make-up artists was mentioning how pale he’s gotten. She had to darken his foundation.” The three turned to look at Martin as he joined the conversation. He shrugged as he glanced at the shadow.

Richard scolded himself for not noticing before now; when someone had to point it out to him. “I need one of you to occasionally remind me that I do not need to be channeling Thorin 24/7…”

The other three men chuckled as he stood up and set his script on the recently vacated chair. He tried to approach his young co-star in a non intimidating way, but Thorin wouldn’t allow it.

“Aidan?”

Kili jumped and turned towards the other man. “Oh…Sorry, Rich. Mind was wandering. Is the set ready?”

“No, not yet. Peter keeps insisting that there be more webs.” 

Aidan wrinkled his nose under the prosthetic. “Really… someone should stop him…”

Richard chuckled. “Sorry, I like my paycheck.”

“Says the guy that didn’t even unpack for three weeks.”

“Alright, I set myself up for that one.” His smiled held for a few more seconds before it dissolved into seriousness. “How are you doing Aidan? Some of the cast and crew have noticed that…you seem a bit…off.”

While the make-up and costume covered most of the physical points of worry, up close Richard could see the other’s bloodshot eyes. The green liquid in the bottle he held sloshed in trembling hands. And then there was the fact that the normally vibrant actor was leaning against a wall, as if he were too drained to stand on his own.

“I’m fine. Just a little tired. These 13 hour days are killing me.” The smile that appeared on his lips was obviously forced and didn’t reach his eyes.

Richard tilted his head. “You know you can talk to me if you need to. Or Martin, or Graham or James…”

Aidan glanced at the small group that was watching them. “Ah…yeah, I see that now…”

Rolling his eyes as looked over his shoulder, Richard muttered, “I’m not the only one that needs to stop channeling their characters… Dwarves…”

“And hobbit,” The younger smirked.

“Bilbo has been hanging around dwarves too long. They’ve corrupted him.”

Aidan actually laughed at that. “Maybe. Look, I think we’re going to have a few more minutes so I’m going to go get a breath of fresh air.”

“Alright. Don’t take too long. Peter really wants to get this scene done.”

“He’s not the only one. Mirkwood kinda make me nauseous.”

Richard glanced at the techno colored forest with the toxic waste pond. “Really? I don’t see why…”

Shaking his head, Aidan patted the veteran actor on the shoulder before heading out the door. Richard sighed before turning around to find two dwarves and a hobbit staring at him, expectantly. 

“Well?”

“He knows he can talk to us…”

Graham huffed. “He’s always known that!”

Richard tilted his head. “No, I don’t think he did.”

***  
“Fine, let’s just get this done with…” Peter sighed. “Alright, places everyone!”

The cast moved into their places and warmed up. It was only after Peter had called for action when they realized they were one dwarf short.

“Where’s Aidan?” The exasperation in Peter’s voice was echoed by some of the cast and crew.

Richard scowled. “He said he was going to go get some fresh air, but that was almost 15 minutes ago.”

“I’ll go get him,” Andy said, as he started for the door. “Probably just fell asleep out there.”

Peter’s eyes softened. “Yes…he does seem more prone to sleeping between takes…” He shook his head. “Well, while we wait, let’s do a dry run of what’s going to happen. Kili’s going to be in a tree anyways…”

Ten minutes later and Andy hadn’t returned. Peter radioed to him. “Andy, what’s the hold up?”

The radio crackled to life. “Waiting on the ambulance…”

“WHAT?!”

Richard dropped Orcrist and sprinted for the door, Graham, Martin and James right on his heels with Dean following seconds later. The rest of the cast would have followed if Peter hadn’t ordered them to stay so they wouldn’t be in the way.

“Andy! What happened?”

“Don’t know. Found Aidan on the ground unconscious. The medics are here…” There was a commotion in the background which announced the arrival of the dwarf company that escaped. Just then there was a shout of “Clear!” and a soft thumping noise.

Peter just about dropped the radio. He turned to the cast after taking a few steadying breaths. “Go get changed. This is going to be a long night.”

***  
They sat in the hospital conference room in various states of distress. Most of the cast had taken seats at the large table, not really talking. Peter and Andy were in a corner speaking softly. Richard noticed Dean was sitting in a plush chair in another corner, looking completely lost. He took a step to go talk to the young man when an older man stepped into the room. Immediately, the focus in the room turned on the newcomer.

“I’m Dr. Hughes. Mr. Turner will be in my care.” He cleared his throat, a little nervous at all the eyes on him.

“How bad is it?” Peter asked softly.

“It’s not good. We’ve got him stabilized…” Dr. Hughes looked down at the chart in his hands, not really sure of how to say this to a room full of people who obviously cherished the young man in his care. “Malnutrition and dehydration have caused a drop in his blood sugar and electrolyte levels. I believe they contributed to the overall stress and lead to cardiac arrest.”

He waited for the general murmurs of fear to pass before turning to Peter. “You’re the director of this movie, correct?”

“Among other things, yes. Why?”

“Well, I might suggest cutting back on your filming schedule before more of your actors start cutting themselves.”

Richard was fairly certain that this was not what the phrase “shock wave” actually meant, but it felt appropriate. Not one face in the room was void of astonishment or confusion. Several people even had hanging jaws.

“W…what..?”

“Mr. Turner is borderline critically anemic. While the malnutrition is part of the cause, his arms and thighs are riddled with cuts, some as old as two weeks.”

There was a cry of sheer anguish from the back of the room. Richard’s head snapped to where Dean had fallen to his knees, his face a mask of pain and fear. In seconds, the older man was helping the younger to his feet and ushering him out of the room.

He found an empty room and guided Dean into it, closing the door with his foot. Thankfully, it was a patient room with a bed that Richard manhandled his costar onto. He gently brushed away the tears that were streaming down the other man’s cheek.

“Dean, it’s okay. Aidan will be fine. He’s strong…”

“It’s my fault! This is all my fault! I should have known...” 

“How is this your fault? If anything, blame should be placed on all of us for not noticing how sick he was.”

Dean clung to Richard’s sweater, sobbing. “I… I…broke up with him…”

“Still not seeing how this is your fault. If you didn’t love him-“

“That’s just it! I did love him! Gods, I loved everything about him!”

If possible, Richard was even more confused. Dean gulped air as his friend rubbed gentle circles on his back trying to calm the man enough for an answer. Slowly, the fists loosed on his sweater and the blond sat back. He took a deep breath.

“Aidan and I live on opposite sides of the planet, literally. After filming was done, the chances we’d be able to stay together were slim, so I tried to keep the relationship from…becoming more than friends with benefits. I made this rule where neither of us could say those three words…”

Richard raised an eyebrow. “’I love you’?”

Dean flinched as if physically struck. “Yeah…”

“And so the night that you two argued, it was because he said that to you.” A nod. “And you threw him out for that?” Another nod. 

“I was so angry at him for breaking that rule…” His breath hitched. “Because I was the one that wanted to break it.”

Richard pulled Dean to his chest and slowly rocked him, finally understanding that there was not just one broken heat in that hospital that night, but two.

***  
It took Dean another ten minutes to compose himself again enough to face Peter, Andy and the rest of the cast. When they returned, the director met them at the door and smiled at the young actor. He pulled Dean into a warm hug.

“It’ll be alright, Dean. He’ll get better.” Peter broke the embrace but held the man at arm’s length. “I think, maybe, he’d like a visit from you. Dr. Hughes says that one of us could go see him for a few minutes and we pretty much decided that it should be you.”

Dean cast a panicked glance at Richard, who just smiled back. “I’ll go with you and wait outside the room, alright?”

Peter tilted his head, but didn’t question them. “If you go to the nurse’s station, someone will help you find Aidan’s room.”

Nodding, the pair left and within minutes, they were in front of a door marked 508. If possible, Dean was looking even paler. Richard gently squeezed his shoulder. 

“Breath, Dean.”

“I…I don’t know if I can do this…” Tears were already streaming from pale blue eyes.

“You can Dean. It’s Aidan on the other side of that door and he needs you. Even if you can’t say the words, let him know that you still care about him.”

The blond bowed his head and breathed deeply. “You’re right. I owe him at least that much.” Steeling himself, he turned the knob and went into the room.

Once the door closed behind him, his resolve cracked. The room was too sterile, all white and steel and smelling of disinfectants. The sound of the steady beeping from the heart monitor was punctuated by the soft whooshing of the ventilator, as if letting the actor know that it was only by the grace of machines that his friend still lived.

He approached the bed, his eyes widening as his heart broke. His mind refused to believe that the skinny, pallid form on the bed was the man he…cared about. Dark hair fanned out across the pillow like some dark halo, surrounding a deathly pale face. A clear tube passed those lips he had kissed so many times before and Dean had to suppress a fit of jealousy before he tore the breathing tube from his…friend. More clear tubes ran from plastic bags of fluid to disappear into taped and bandaged arms.

He picked up a hand, surprised that it felt warm, not cold like in all those dramas he had read. Still, he couldn’t believe that it was Aidan, _his_ Aidan that lay in front of him. This body was too still to be the kinetic ball of Irishman that he had…admired. The ever present smirk was missing, the one that was even there when he was asleep. Fingers that would twitch if there was more than a five second lull were still.

“Oh, Aidan…I’m so sorry!” He dipped his head as he brought the hand he remembered caressing his own body to his lips, gently kissing it as tears flooded down his cheeks. 

***  
The next few days were nothing short of a living hell for Dean. Dr. Hughes kept them up to date on the young man’s condition and tried to reassure them that he was indeed getting better. Filming continued, even though no one’s heart was really in it. He felt sorry for the Kili body double, as no one could look him in the eye and he understood why. Still, they tried to continue with their lives, even if part of it was missing.

Thankfully, Peter took pity on Dean and usually had him out early, so he could sit with Aidan at the hospital. He had started taking books with him to read aloud when he ran out of things to say. The actor would stay as long as he could before the staff kicked him out. Every night, he tried to say those three little words. Every night, he ended up just kissing the man’s forehead.

***  
“Are you sure this is alright?”

Dean sighed, slightly exasperated at Richard’s caution. “Yes, Rich. Dr. Hughes cleared it with me last night. He thought it might do Aidan some good to hear another familiar voice.”

The taller man chuckled, though it sounded a bit sad. “I was actually asking if this was alright with you.”

“Oh.” Dean blushed, surprised that his friend was thinking of him as well. “Yeah, I’m fine with you coming. I’ve actually been wishing you could for a while.” He bowed his head.

“It’s hard, seeing him like that. Sometimes…sometimes all I can do is cry.”

A large hand landed on his shoulder. “I can understand that. I’m honored that you would ask me.”

Dean almost cracked a smile. “Why would I ask anyone else? You were the one that was there for me that first night, letting me bawl into you sweater all night.”

Richard laughed. “I didn’t mind. You needed a friend and I had plenty of tea.”

The blond gave a short nod, stopping as they came to the now familiar door. “I miss him, Rich. I miss him so damn much and even though he’s unconscious, I still can’t tell him how I feel!”

Turning Dean to face him, Richard replied, “The words will come when you need them to. Don’t force them or they’ll have no meaning.”

The younger actor blinked once and smiled. “Thank you, Thorin.”

Richard snorted as he let go. “That was a very Thorin thing to say. I should ask if we can get it into the script.”

The words had their intended impact as Dean finally relaxed enough to laugh. “Thanks, Rich.”

“No worries. Now, let’s go see Aidan.”

Together they entered the room, Dean headed for his usual spot on the bed while Richard took the chair next to him. Aidan still didn’t look much better but his features were more relaxed then the first time Dean had seen him. He took that as a good sign and let a bit of hope into his heart.

“Hey, Aid, I brought someone here to see you…”

“Hullo, Aidan. It’s been a long time since I we talked.” Richard brushed back some of the dark, curly hair. “Everyone on set sends their best.”

“Except Graham. He said to tell you to stop trying to make them all jealous with all the extra sleep you’re getting and come back to work.”

“He would say something like that…”

Dean smiled as he looked down at the younger man. “Don’t worry, Aid. Fili will kick his butt for you.”

“Thorin may help…”

Dean glanced up to grin at Richard when he heard it. It started out as just a soft choking sound but seconds later, Aidan was thrashing on the bed, his heart monitor beeping wildly. Suddenly, the room was crowded with doctors and nurses, each moving in coordination that came from long hours of working together. 

“Get him out of here!” one of the doctors called, pointing at a panicking Dean.

Richard wrapped his massive arms around the much smaller man and tried to haul him from the room. Dean screamed and flailed to be set free but the man held him tightly. The younger was so beside himself, he didn’t even realize it was a human holding him back.

“Dean! We need to let them do their job!”

“AIDAN! Please- Aidan!” Tears streamed down his face as doctors blocked the man from his sight. Finally, one last scream tore from his throat. “I LOVE YOU!”

***  
“Here, drink.”

Dean numbly took the paper cup and sipped the warm contents. It was tea, cooled by the ice cube that was steadily melting in it. Somewhere, in the back of his mind, he was thankful for Richard’s foresight. His mind was in such a fog, there was little else he could do but follow commands. He didn’t even look up as Peter and Andy came into the waiting area.

“What happened?” Peter asked breathlessly.

“I don’t really know,” Richard answered truthfully. “No one has been able to tell us.”

“Fran is coming with the cast. We told them the hospital staff would probably kick out a bunch of dwarves, hobbits and wizards.” Andy tried to smile, but failed. If the past week had been bad for the cast, it was even worse for the directors. They had been the ones that kept Aidan’s family up to date and managed the press black out so the hospital wouldn’t become a circus.

Peter sat down next to Dean, scowling at the actor’s lack of response. Richard shook his head, motioning for Peter to not even bother.

“They said he’s in mild state of shock. I think he’s just withdrawn into himself.” He went on to explain what had happened in Aidan’s room.

A few minutes later, a nurse approached them. “Excuse me, but is one of you named Dean?”

“He is,” Richard said pointing to the blond, who actually looked up at his name.

“Good. I need you to come with me.” She reached down and pulled the man to his feet, leading him away from his friends.

“Where are you taking me?”

“There’s someone who wants to talk to you.”

Dean felt his heart sink, thinking one of the doctors was going to tell him that he had lost the man he loved. He tried to pull away, not ready for that yet, but the nurse, though she was smaller than Dean, wouldn’t let him. She pulled him to Aidan’s room and pushed him through the door.

A doctor that had been leaning over the bed straightened, revealing dark eyes under a curly mop of even darker hair leaning against a pillow. Dean felt his jaw drop in awe. 

“Aidan…”

The doctor chuckled. “As you can see, Mr. Turner started breathing on his own and rejected the breathing tube. He woke shortly thereafter and was saying your name.”

Dean was at Aidan’s side in seconds, picking up a hand and holding it tightly, his heart beating faster as his own hand was weakly squeezed in return. The staff silently retreated, some to go tell those that waited for information the good news. Not that either actor noticed.

“Aidan…oh god, I thought I had lost you…” He gently kissed the knuckles of the other’s hand.

“It’s alright…Dean…” Aidan croaked out, his throat still raw from the tube. “I’m …here…”

Not letting go of the other, the blond reached out and grabbed the cup of water from the bedside stand. He set the straw between chapped lips and watched as Aidan gratefully drained half the cup.

“Had a funny dream…”

Dean set the cup back on the stand. “Oh?”

Somehow, Aidan managed a light blush. “I dreamed that you said…you said those words to me…”

His heart hitching, Dean leaned forward so his forehead touched the other’s. “You didn’t dream it, Aid. I love you. I don’t care what happens in the future or how far apart we are, I love you and I’m going to do everything I can to make this work.” He closed his eyes. “If you still want me…”

Aidan tilted his head so their lips met in a chaste kiss. “Always.”


End file.
